In pursuit of God

In pursuit of God

Their eyes used to be white and their lips weren't so dark.
Their skin was not as drained and their bodies used to be young and fresh.
The effect of their lifestyles has made them have to spend more money on
covering up the evidence of alcohol abuse.
Blush. Mascara .Powder. Foundation .Base .More base, powder, foundation, blush MORE.
The addiction to cigarettes have left her lips slightly purple and a little pink.
Her teeth no longer glow the same way.
Her set of ivories are no longer colgate teeth.
The joy in her face has been drained, sucked out and spat back into the face of the enemy. Her shoulders look to heavy for her.
Walking seems like an effort when she used to love running as a child.

Their pretty floral dresses have been replaced with dark clothes
Dark make up and red nails.
Their wide smiles and angelic glow has faded
They now wear sorrow and a cardigan
They wear pain and heels. Sadness and a beanie. They accessorize with their tears.
Their dimples have gone and have been replaced with wrinkles.
She is only 22.

The dark rings around her eyes are from the sleepless nights
Thinking of the child she made disappear before mom could notice.
Her name is unknown but she represents a silent majority.

Mom sent her to make something of herself at UJ old RAU. AFDA.Wits and City Campus
Mom used her savings to give her daughter the education her mother was not allowed to give her.
The pressure to excel at school was too great so she didn't bother trying.
She cheated her way to her second year.
Second year at varsity.
She made it further than first year, so, in her books she has somewhat succeeded in making her mom proud. That?s enough for her. She is content, but numb.
Phuza Friday, Sloshed Saturday and Drunken Sunday. Sitlamatlama Monday.

Call home and tell them you are passing.
Tell them you need money for food, then drink it with your girlfriends.
A text book I need yes, but it can wait. I'm still young
Tebogo will buy me one. He offered so why not?
I'm enjoying my youth. I won't get it back might as well make it memorable.

They have lost themselves to the world because it is all they know.
Christianity means long skirts, head scarfs and carrying a bible in public.
Not even a little bit cool. Christianity means preaching what you don't practise and singing the loudest at church. Christianity means making people give you ten percent of their hard earned money every month so the pastor can by his wife and girlfriend new clothes. Church is a building I don?t wish to occupy any time soon. I am mad at God coz I don?t know my dad and my mother sleeps hungry. I drink coz I can.
I smoke coz ngiyaphila! What I do in my bedroom I do because its there to be done.

She is what she is because she is in pursuit of peace. Pursuit of love.
Pursuit of joy. Pursuit of a father. Pursuit of a purpose. Pursuit of freedom.
She doesn't realise it, but she is in pursuit of God.