Spinning around in hope

I don’t remember too much about my childhood. But my mind has held on to a few pieces that today form a beautiful picture.
I call this particular picture HOPE.
I must have been 3 years old.
I remember I was living with my great grandmother who didn’t have much according to the real world. But in my world she was the wealthiest woman alive.
I had never seen so many brown and copper coins in one handkerchief at a time.
My Gogo was rich.
She would give me one a day to buy myself big fat red puffs which took me to heaven at each bite.
I remember while eating my puffs alone and on the veranda that this old woman loved me. It was a fact.
I knew that what she gave me, and that her beautiful singing and praying with me meant something to her and did something to me.
Something even today I can’t axplain. I played alone on the stoep one day, wearing a tiny white dress with blue dots.
A dress that could no longer fit me. I knew it didn’t fit me because my panty used to show. But it was my favourite dress none the less.
I played outside and started spinning around and round in circles with my hands stretched out and my face facing heaven with my eyes closed.
There was a chance I could fall and there was a chance I wouldn’t, it didn’t matter because I lived in the now.
And right now meant I could spin for as long as my feet didn’t get tired and my head didn’t hurt.
While spinning I knew that where I was, was not all that would become of me.
I knew that the huts surrounding my grans house and the cows grazing in the field were not always going to be with me.
I knew the big avocado tree would not always be my jungle gym. I knew I wouldn't always share a bed wit my granny and that we would one day separate.
I knew there would come a time where I would live a life different to the one I know.
One, where I knew where my mother and father would come for me, they would fetch me. And love me.
I knew I would leave and be somebody people would visit. As I spun around these thoughts filled my 3 year old head and made me feel good about myself. Hope began spinning around my tiny bald head. these thoughts of mine...
They gave me something to look forward to.
While spinning around I knew I would one day get a beautiful pair of shoes to finally cover my feet and have long hair and be beautiful.
Hope was what I had. Even then I knew God was real. Because I believed with all that I was that he would one day buy me a beautiful new dress that would fit me.
And he did.