The shoe doesn't fit me!!

The shoe doesn't fit me. Its either too small or too big!
The Swazi's say I've been Jozified and I've lost my tongue.
I get to Jozi they say I'm too Swazi I'm not one of them coz I speak strange.
In the suburbs they speak in a tone I don't have they say I'm not one of them coz I'm too black, too ghetto for their liking.
Elokshini the words that come out of my mouth are too strange to be welcomed.
Where am I suppost to go? Yesterday I was a coconut today a collegue called me a hood rat.
Last week I was told I'm a country pumpkin. I just don't seem to have a place in society to call my home.
A jack of all trades and master of none. I have a lot of clothes yet nothing to wear.
Do too many colours and shapes in a picture make it junk?
I get along with each person and each place but I don't, can't and won't fit,stay and be contained in one place. Am I suppost to be just one thing and not be anything else? Coz if that's the case then I'm doomed and so are my kids.

Shem. They will know who they are but society won't accept them. Shem. It will forever reject,misjudge and label them wrong like their mother was. My heart bleeds for them. I could spend the rest of my life reflecting on the 22 years of my life when I have been called names or have chosen to keep quiet out of a fear of being a social outcast. I could use the rest of my life as a means to prove to the world of what I am and am not. I could use my time on earth counting times when I was welcomed by the world to make myself feel as though I matter to society.

The one place I am at home and where my language,skin colour,fashion sense, school, education and twang or lack of, doesn't matter. And that's when I'm in the place of prayer.

My God who is father,friend,healer, mother, provider, comforter, rock, fortress,shepard,banner, maker, companion,savior,king, "Jack of all trades and master of ALL" reminded me of the beauty and splendour of a mosaic. In its different elements,shapes,sizes and tones. It is beautiful. He says that just as I am. I'm perfect in his eyes.

So if the shoe doesn't fit me, this means I'm destined to walk bare footed for life... vele!?
The Lord says he will run with me in the grass and I will feel the splendour and beauty of the grass under the soles of my feet, he said he will protect me from the feel of the thorns and rocks and I will only feel the softness and tender comfort from his creations underfoot. Hold my hand Lord and let's run!