When my phone rings or I get an sms I close my eyes and pray in 3 different languages that it's you. Even if it where just a simple "pls call me", I get butterflies seeing your name across my screen. I feel my breakfast spin when your name is across my tiny cellphone screen. All you did was tell me that you think I am cute and that you would like to get to know me better. But my mind has already imagined what our kids will look like. Wow I hope they have your hair. They will have that soft-no-relaxer-needed-curly type. They will look like both of us. I can't wait. We haven't held hands yet but I have asked you questions about your family, your hopes, dreams and things you yourself don't even think about.
In such a short space of time. A month to be exact I call you 'The one'. A common name but I think this time it's for real. I fantasize about us eating good food the day we can afford it. We dress nice and just look so darn good together. Like Zam and his wife, or the Obama's imagine!
I dream that I'll be your queen and you my king and we build a castle together. In one month. Just one. I have planned our future. My wedding dress. My brides maids. It will be great. Top billing will be there. I love this stage. The stage in a relationship when my head is in the clouds and my feet don't touch the ground. They are swept away and any escape from reality is worth falling in love with. So I love you.
While floating in the clouds all of a sudden ...I fall. While in dream land, my favourite spot being cloud 9, I am woken up rudely. My fantasies are stopped . Bubbles popped. Dreams all over the floor like broken glass on a highway leading towards making my dreams tangible.
He didn't call me last night to say the usual hour long goodnight.
Where were you? I tried to call you and you didn't pick up? And who is Lerato?
5 minutes later it's back to back sms insults at each other. I am willing to walk oin the dark, 8pm at "Corner bullet and knife street" AKA Brixton to buy airtime not to declare my love for you. No, but to tell you what type of an animal that has four legs and barks I think you are. All of a sudden I don't care about you. Your family. What you ate today. And you and your nice hair can go jump. I forget the good times right now as if they were fake. And you were just acting. I don't believe your smses and in anger delete them. All of them. When you send a "pls call me" it's not sweet and all cute anymore. It's Cheap ! what happened to public phones?
As young people this is our biggest mistake. We rely on the physical, feelings, charm, looks and emotions. Passion based on words and outside features. I challenge you to let your spirit think for you and not your heart. Its too mushy to decide about something so solid and firm. Love. Your spirit has wisdom, knowledge and most importantly it has God.
And as you know God doesn't make mistakes. Listen to God before you give him your heart,soul,body,mind and number.
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