I'm Poppy

I never say my full name out loud in that I feel silly saying it, I really do.
I guess I have trouble accepting it, I refuse to accept it. If I could name myself, trust, Poppy wouldn't be on my list. Everyone at home has deep African names with a wealth of teaching and meaning behind it like Anele she's the last born of three beautiful girls born from Lindiwe who's other name is Thembayena that means trust in God. She is the sister of Gugu that means "our pride", who is the younger sister of Sfiso Vilakazi who is the uncle of Nomfundo meaning knowledge, who is the older sister of Wenzile who's name means conqueror or achiever. She's the aunt of the youngest member of the family Siyabonga. His name describes the state the family was in when he was born. They were thankful to God.

Now, back to Poppy...?!? I have an aunt who's name means Luck, a brother who's name means joy while my mothers name meant beautiful decor and I got Poppy...
My people don't even pronounce it right, Afrikaans people make a mockery out of it while kids think it's strange. Poppy, I don't like/hate it, it doesn't exactly say "Respect me, I'm your mother" it doesn't say "Introduce me to your father and make me your wife". Doesn't say "I deserve the million rand tender". Couldn't my first name be the secondary names I have Tfunyiwe, and Telamsile? No I got Poppy.

The man who gave me the name is no longer with us in the physical world but each time I say my name in my head I remember him and ask "MARA WHY?". I did ask that question while growing up and I was told that it was a flower meant to represent the happy, jolly and beautiful person I am. That I looked as perfect as a flower and my happiness and laughter was contagious.

Fast forward to today, with the gift/curse of technology and research easily available, a poppy flower is a flower yes, but there is a substance called opium that is used to make Heroin from it. So...?! Once again I ask "WHY?" .
Were my African names not good enough? Was it to accommodate the white folk at the cost of my Africanism?" Could it not be a name like Nobuntu, Jabu, Busisiwe, Thando or Buhle. Something like that?

If I flip the coin over, the man who named me. Loved me. And gave me the name so people who first met me would know about the love and admiration he had for me through the name. He wanted the world to know it before they got to know who I am behind the name.My name is Poppy, whether you and I like it or not .